I purchase books, like drinking water or whatever you drink regularly…really I have a problem! I purchased this one book a while ago titled, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, but I never read it until now! Its a 40 day read, assisting one with finding the purpose of their life! Great stuff, wonderful food for thought!
Day 2 talks about “You Are Not An Accident” and it didn’t really phase me until I got towards the end and it started to talk about the fact that long before I was conceived by my parents, I was conceived in the mind of God and how it didn’t matter whether my parents were good, bad, or indifferent, God knew that those two individuals possessed EXACTLY the right genetic makeup to create the custom “me” he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make me! And after that the tears began to flow & the question why James Johnson was finally answered, finally I knew why He, God, picked him for my mom to create me with me! Finally, I knew!
I have the greatest mom of all time! She is my heart, my world, my best friend, my everything & there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her, but then there is my “dad/father” sperm donor is what I say who has never been there!
Told me that he didn’t want anything to do with me because he couldn’t have my mom! Wow! It still pains when I think about that day he told me this…his only child! When I remember how much I always just wanted him there. How I would invite him to everything and he never came! Never! I moved on, took 22 years for me to do so, but I have! I am 24 now and it still hurts but I don’t hate him anymore! I use to, oh how I use to, but everything happens for a reason, I have always believed that and now I know the reason! 24 years it took, but now I know!
“Acceptance is the key to understanding” ~Nichole Smith
If you accept whatever it is, understanding will follow, can’t tell you the time, but it will come!
If your holding a grudge against a parent for lack of being there or the questions as of why/why not! Don’t! Pray for acceptance, but also talk to them! God picked your parents for you, because he knew they would make the “custom” you! He knew they genetically had what it took to produce His work of greatest, YOU! So instead of being bitter, distant, sad, or miserable, be happy & tell them thank you! Tell them thank you for being obedient to my Father and producing the custom me!
Trust I know it will hurt! It still hurts me, but face it! Holding on to that pain, not being able to talk about it, is only hurting yourself! Trust me they are living their lives, so face it, pray about it, let it go & let God. Accept it and then you will understand the divine plan that God had! You will begin to understand why the combination of their genes mattered, you will begin to realize who you are and most importantly begin a path to find you purpose in life!
It may not be what you & I would have done, but we are the imperfect ones & God is the man of perfection, so be thankful for you parents! Regardless of the situation, God wanted and thought of a way to create the custom you but through your parents you had to be brought to life! They were only the vessels used to execute God’s plan not theirs! So regardless of if you were planned or a mistake by their meanings, you were not an accident by God! He wrote the script & assigned you to them, he had a “custom” creation in mind!
Peace & love,
Nichole
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Its Amazing How God Works...
I often sit & think, trying to be the voice, I would want someone to be for me! Aiming hard to live by Gods words of “Do unto other as you would HAVE them do unto you”, fighting off the temptation of doing the opposite and doing exactly what and/or worst than what has been do me! But today, I stopped and asked myself, WHY? Why aim at this alone, why try to be the example of what should be done and not follow ‘just’ the norm? Why, Nichole do you want to strive so hard to be the difference? Why give chances and chances to people when you have been wronged, let down, or taken for granted? Why Nichole, why? I asked myself….
As the tears developed inside and my mind raced, I did some emailing cleaning and I ran across an email that had been sent to me 4 days ago by a dear friend! One titled Letting Go! I said wow and immediately jumped into reading it! As I read it in the room with 2 friends, I began to feel alone, but in a good way, I was taken into a pure white room, no one, nothing but me! The email was so deep, so mind stimulating, promising, & cleansing! It was a long email, so I won’t site it in my blog verbatim, but I want to provided a few lines that touched me most!
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your DESTINY is never tied to anybody that left. Please stop now and read 1 John 2:19, then come back. You read it? Okay now continue.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can not make them stay. LET THEM GO! Wow! It was powerful! And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in this story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in YOUR story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead! LET THEM GO! If you are holding on to past hurt and pains….LET THEM GO!! If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…LET THEM GO! If your stuck in the past and GOD is trying to take you to a new level in Him…LET IT GO!!! …..I will stop here, but there was so much more so please let me know if you want that email, I would love to pass it along!
I shouted! I shouted! I cried, I yelled, I cried, I shouted all internally, except for the tears that rolled down my face when I was alone in the bathroom moments later! I felt God talking to me! He was answering my questions, renewing my reasons for what I thought I was doing in vain! I wondered why this pure white room alone, why I had been calling my mom & my best friend and neither was available, but it was because GOD wanted me to talk to Him and me to listen to Him! He wanted my undivided attention, He wanted me to stand the pain & obtain my answers!
Often times we go through things prior to our breakthrough, we hurt, we feel sad, we feel alone, but its all for a purpose, its all apart of His holy & divine plan! So if you hurt, if you feel alone, if your feeling like its not fair, its not suppose to happen like this, don’t fight it, accept it, cry, cry, cry, hurt, hurt, hurt, and remember that after the pain and tears the rainbow will shine again!
“Acceptance is the key to understanding” ~Nichole S. Understanding follows acceptance, so accept the wrong doings, the hurt, the neglect, the mistreatment, or whatever it maybe, but trust OUR GOD always prevails! He may not come when we want Him, but he is always right on time! Now I can’t tell you the day, the time, the month, the way of His appearance, nor the hour, but I can assure you of this, when He comes you will know it!
I got to LET GO! It hurts, my GOD, it hurts, but the reward that is forthcoming will make me forget this hurt! It will be a past memory that I can’t even remember & by GOD I am thankful for it already, so grateful! If I had 10,000 tongues to say thank you, that still wouldn’t be enough!
Be encouraged readers! Be encouraged, keep the faith, remain prayful, and remember that no amount of hurt and pain is to great for OUR HEALER & CREATOR! We are a vessel, so let Him use you!
I hope this helped someone! I pray that regardless of the time and pain, GOD is right there, he has you, just trust & believe! I promise He will Never leave you nor forsake you! In all thy ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct thy path! Proverbs 3:6!
Peace & Love
Nichole
As the tears developed inside and my mind raced, I did some emailing cleaning and I ran across an email that had been sent to me 4 days ago by a dear friend! One titled Letting Go! I said wow and immediately jumped into reading it! As I read it in the room with 2 friends, I began to feel alone, but in a good way, I was taken into a pure white room, no one, nothing but me! The email was so deep, so mind stimulating, promising, & cleansing! It was a long email, so I won’t site it in my blog verbatim, but I want to provided a few lines that touched me most!
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you, let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your DESTINY is never tied to anybody that left. Please stop now and read 1 John 2:19, then come back. You read it? Okay now continue.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can not make them stay. LET THEM GO! Wow! It was powerful! And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in this story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in YOUR story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead! LET THEM GO! If you are holding on to past hurt and pains….LET THEM GO!! If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…LET THEM GO! If your stuck in the past and GOD is trying to take you to a new level in Him…LET IT GO!!! …..I will stop here, but there was so much more so please let me know if you want that email, I would love to pass it along!
I shouted! I shouted! I cried, I yelled, I cried, I shouted all internally, except for the tears that rolled down my face when I was alone in the bathroom moments later! I felt God talking to me! He was answering my questions, renewing my reasons for what I thought I was doing in vain! I wondered why this pure white room alone, why I had been calling my mom & my best friend and neither was available, but it was because GOD wanted me to talk to Him and me to listen to Him! He wanted my undivided attention, He wanted me to stand the pain & obtain my answers!
Often times we go through things prior to our breakthrough, we hurt, we feel sad, we feel alone, but its all for a purpose, its all apart of His holy & divine plan! So if you hurt, if you feel alone, if your feeling like its not fair, its not suppose to happen like this, don’t fight it, accept it, cry, cry, cry, hurt, hurt, hurt, and remember that after the pain and tears the rainbow will shine again!
“Acceptance is the key to understanding” ~Nichole S. Understanding follows acceptance, so accept the wrong doings, the hurt, the neglect, the mistreatment, or whatever it maybe, but trust OUR GOD always prevails! He may not come when we want Him, but he is always right on time! Now I can’t tell you the day, the time, the month, the way of His appearance, nor the hour, but I can assure you of this, when He comes you will know it!
I got to LET GO! It hurts, my GOD, it hurts, but the reward that is forthcoming will make me forget this hurt! It will be a past memory that I can’t even remember & by GOD I am thankful for it already, so grateful! If I had 10,000 tongues to say thank you, that still wouldn’t be enough!
Be encouraged readers! Be encouraged, keep the faith, remain prayful, and remember that no amount of hurt and pain is to great for OUR HEALER & CREATOR! We are a vessel, so let Him use you!
I hope this helped someone! I pray that regardless of the time and pain, GOD is right there, he has you, just trust & believe! I promise He will Never leave you nor forsake you! In all thy ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct thy path! Proverbs 3:6!
Peace & Love
Nichole
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